Wash your hands, you damn pig!

When I’m in the bathroom dangling my man root waiting for the stream of what used to be my diet soda to evacuate I hear, "uh...hum!" then a rustle of the feet then cough, cough with a shuffle of the toilet dispenser roll. I think he wants to be alone. Ok, dude, I know you’re in there bronzing some beef medallions so lay off! No sooner do I hear all of this when Colon cowboy comes a strutting out in his shit kickers and walks right out the door.

You could not make this s*%$ up! What the hell is wrong with you people? You make me sick! Allergic to water? How’s about I just hack your grubby hands off and heave them up your ass! Nothing gets me more fuming!

Some information for the ladies. When you go a clubbing and you meet that guy who just asked you to dance well, sad to say ladies, that dude probably has some doodie on his dimple pokers, feces on his fingers, pee on the piano players, you get the point.

So for all you sick bastards that want to piss on your hands and or crap and dash just do us one favor munch on some golf balls, then take a massive dose of laxatives. (Most likely you won't drop dead...but it will make you want to).

Clean your act dumb asses!!!