Bed bugs a buggin me!

COLUMBUS, Ohio – A resurgence of bedbugs across the U.S. has homeowners and apartment dwellers taking desperate measures to eradicate the tenacious bloodsuckers, with some relying on dangerous outdoor pesticides and fly-by-night exterminators.

Ok, call me crazy but I thought bed bugs were a silly euphemism our parents used to make us crazy when we were still biting ankles. Still afraid to look under the bed at night well don’t you worry there’s something even better crawling in your 1000 stitch spread tonight.

Running out of topics at your afterhours get together after work? Not to worry.
A conversation with your coworker, after slugging a few cocktails, babbles and slurs about wanting to bang his boss while you secretly want to bang your coworker.

Your coworker can’t put a lid on it then the conversation sinks to a new low, he starts hitting on the dude next to him then BANG! Get your eyes off that piece of olive that is dangling from between his teeth and talk about your bed pests.

After he launches his stomach contents and that stubborn piece of olive that is now a permanent fixture on your forehead you have a brand new topic and half digested puke on your face and new shirt.

Cheers to bed bugs you jerks!