RaNdoM Stuff

Over the weekend, a golfer's routine swing in the rough at the Shady Canyon Golf Course in Irvine, Calif., struck a rock and started a fire.

Wow, you can’t tell the difference between a rock and a golf ball? I might be a good idea to get your head examined and your eyes checked. I hope you don’t think this text is hieroglyphics.

In the realm of golf I can see in such “high pressure” situations how you could make mistakes like that! Hope there are no gophers on that green you might see a few gopher heads on the green and stuck in trees.

I think you need to down grade to nurf or nothing. When you miss the ball or hit another rock you can take your aggressions on your caddy or nearest fan (if you have any) or even still a baby lying nearby.

Look, this is what dreams are made of. While you relax and play a few rounds of golf you light a golf course on fire. Now of course this makes you look like a complete buffoon but you’ve indirectly created a few jobs. Now you go home and sleep on that while hundreds of charred animal carcasses fertilize the landscape and that great side effect of combustion billows into family’s homes suffocating us.

Someone should put your head on a tee and swing a mac truck at your melon. Much like my dad used to say “think before you speak” I say to you “look before you swing” you crack pot!

FORE!

Driving to toil dire outlook in tote

Anger suppressed deep in my throat

A glance in my mirror and what do I see

Some dim-witted jack-ass tailgating me

I step on the gas to get out of his way

When low and behold

On my ass he did stay

I tried not to think

Or really get mad

C’uz for him in my rear

Things will really get bad

Visions of knuckle bumps

Smashed in his head

In hopes of sir tailgater soon will be dead

I swerve to the left then to the right

When all of the sudden he flashed on his brights

I flipped him the bird

With resentment and shame

A glance in the mirror

Nostrils aflame

This guy wants to die

This I do know

You might want to stay

T’ill the end of the show

I merge on the freeway

Head bout to pop

When all of the sudden

I just want to stop

I smash on the brakes

And hope for the best

Low and behold

He’d soon curse with zest

With a shriek

And a slam

I heard his tires scream

A shine in my eye

His head popped with steam

So tailgate me please

And soon you will see

I’ll smash your face good

And smile with glee

On the way to the hospital

A flying I go

Your Insurance went up

And your car needs a tow

I head to the bank

Crash check in hand

Thinking that was fun

This cost him ten grand

COLUMBUS, Ohio – A resurgence of bedbugs across the U.S. has homeowners and apartment dwellers taking desperate measures to eradicate the tenacious bloodsuckers, with some relying on dangerous outdoor pesticides and fly-by-night exterminators.

Ok, call me crazy but I thought bed bugs were a silly euphemism our parents used to make us crazy when we were still biting ankles. Still afraid to look under the bed at night well don’t you worry there’s something even better crawling in your 1000 stitch spread tonight.

Running out of topics at your afterhours get together after work? Not to worry.
A conversation with your coworker, after slugging a few cocktails, babbles and slurs about wanting to bang his boss while you secretly want to bang your coworker.

Your coworker can’t put a lid on it then the conversation sinks to a new low, he starts hitting on the dude next to him then BANG! Get your eyes off that piece of olive that is dangling from between his teeth and talk about your bed pests.

After he launches his stomach contents and that stubborn piece of olive that is now a permanent fixture on your forehead you have a brand new topic and half digested puke on your face and new shirt.

Cheers to bed bugs you jerks!

For those who have not been to Laguna Beach in California, it is probably one of the most beautiful beach you will visit. I grew up in Orange County most of my life and understand that the sandy beaches is what characterizes O.C. as a spoiled region of California. Ritzy small towns and millionaires flock the county like crows on a corn field. I am blessed to have such proximity and leisure to visit many beaches of O.C. from surf city Huntington Beach down to elegant San Clemente. But Laguna Beach remains as one of my favorite.

I have visited Laguna Beach countless times and still get overwhelmed with the virgin experience inspired by the natural coastline beauty. Weekends are filled with tourists fueled by the Laguna Beach - the Real OC show few years ago. I have to admit, after 20 years of visiting the beach, I too, feel like a tourist at times.

Case in point, I have seen pictures and even posters of an iconic man-made structure called Victoria Tower or Turret. The turret looks like something out of Harry Potter's book. The structure was inspired by 16th century towers of the old English and was built in 1926 according to Laguna historians. The tower was featured in movies and was more functionally used as spiral staircase to view the ocean from above near the top of the cliff. Today, the tower is closed, however the exterior draws many professional photographers and curious tourists to capture a glimpse of an interesting structure that still stands today.

I guess it must be the pounding waves and salt that may have deteriorated some of the turret's skin, but in effect, this gives the turret even a more authentic appeal as if it was built by the English kingdom of yesteryears.

Getting to Victoria Beach is a challenge for most tourists and even locals. Two reason for this is the fact parking is challenging and secondly, there are no signs or indications of such beach along PCH. With that in mind, I myself did some research online along with my personal experience and managed to score few tips. Hope you will find the tips useful if you decide to visit Victoria Beach. It is a sight to behold that is secretive to Laguna Beach. Enjoy!

Google Map to Victoria Beach (Laguna Beach, CA)

Some Tips:

1. Avoid visiting during the weekends. As difficult as it seems, Laguna Beach is overfilled with tourists and locals during the weekends. This adds to the challenge of finding parking more or less even opportunity to feel the beach exclusivity. Try visiting mid-hours during a weekday. A good time will be closer to 5 or 6pm during summer day light times.

2.  There are no public parking available to access Victoria Beach. The beach is situated and enclaved by multi-million dollar homes. Hence, only viable parking is street parking (free) along PCH. Another alternative is take the Laguna Shuttle (which is free during summer season).

3. There are no public restrooms available on the beach. Make sure you have deposited what you have so that you can enjoy the scenery of the beach without the urge to go.

4. The beach crowd is usually light due to its exclusivity and the fact it's not easily accessible. However, this makes the beach even more special and almost private if you will. Getting down to the beach from PCH can be a challenged because there are no signs or any indication such beach exist (unless you look on Google earth). Stay on Victoria Street and you should be able to locate few public access stairways. The walk from PCH to Victoria beach is usually 10-15 minute walk.

5. Be adventurous in getting close to the Victoria Tower, but be advised that high tides and pounding waves can cause serious injury. So be prepared and wear appropriate shoes/clothing. Also be warned, a lifeguard may not be present and caution should be taken if deciding to surf or swim.

6. As usual, have your sunblock on and enjoy an exclusive public beach that many (even the locals) do not know about.



* Please excuse the gloomy photos. The weather was not the most desirable when I visited the beach few days ago. You see, we are not spoiled as you think.

In a recent report from the AP VIENNA – Austria's health ministry is reporting two cases of a new gene that allows bacteria to become a superbug.
a gene, known as NDM-1, infected in two people, whom are believed to have been infected in hospitals abroad.

A statement Friday said a person from Pakistan was released in good health from Graz's university clinic last year after successful treatment. It said another person from Kosovo is still under medical supervision there.

Researchers say the gene — which appears to be circulating widely in India — alters bacteria, making them resistant to nearly all known antibiotics.

Now, this really bugs me. It seems that our fascination with science and the tinkering with genetics I.E. in vitro, cloning, drugs, etc has bitten us in the ass. For peats sake are we even suprised this is happening???

It’s kinda like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Why can’t we leave well enough alone? Can’t we have a baby without drugs or human intervention? Can’t we get through a cold without drugs? What did we do a thousand years ago, holy crap, how did we survive? Look in the mirror we’re here so that tells me we survived without advanced science and genetic blunders.

We ot to be cautious otherwise we could wind up roaming the way of the doe-doe bird. With bird brain scientists that see dollar signs they should be looking at human signs.

Inject yourselves with an inoculation of realism people!

Eat organic, live organic!

Shame on you!

Far be it for me to complain about "big government" that being said I had an interesting chat with a manufactured home owner. She stated that she had to pay a property tax on property she does not even own.

Hold the phone “big cheese” cuz this one really stinks! You’ve gotta be kidding me right!? She also said that on top of the property tax she pays every year she also pays a monthly rent to have her trailer on the private property SHE DOES NOT EVEN OWN!!!

This is going too far and Americans are getting really sick of your crap “big brother!” Why stop there? Let’s keep that tax train-a-chuggin and tax the tax you’re taxing us on. You jerks just don’t understand how resilient we Americans are. You think we will just take a seat and let you suck every last dime out of us, guess again!

Here’s another proposal for a tax you can ram down our gullet tax the air we breathe, the ideas we conceive, the freedom we receive, the success we achieve, the prayers we keep, the tears we weep, the joy we reap, our laughter, our banter, our fear, our joy, our girls and boys, our mothers and fathers, our sins and grins, our Americans that gave their precious lives defending the very freedom you are trying to snatch from us.

Shame on you “Big Government” you need to wake up and smell that disgusting stink that makes us Americans want go heave bacon and baloney.

Oh, you might want to tax this blog as well you jerks!

In a recent report from the AP smoking related illnesses cost Medicare tens of billions of dollars every year. What? You've got to be kidding me! I know most people know that smoking is bad right? No, I don’t think so. It seems that most people that smoke either don't care or are too brainless to be bothered.

In either case the facts are clear. You either stop smoking or you don’t. It’s a free country so if you want to fill your air sacs with toxic smoke knock yourself out. How’s about a blast of Botox for that leathery catchers mitt you call a face from that lovely side effect of smoking.

Here’s a grand way to save taxpayer dollars for the brainstems that just don’t get it. Take a pleasant swan dive into a nice jagged rock off a cliff just off the coast. You get a great view on the way down and you help the environment, fish have to eat to you know.

Bottom line is this. Yeah it’s a free country and you can do what you want but why should I the tax payer have to foot the bill for your ignorance. I should not is the answer.

So as you morons keep sucking away on the cancer sticks, you stick everyone else with the medical bills. Here’s a great proposition try sucking the end of a 357 you’re doing the same thing but it’s just a little bit faster.

Shame on you!

In a recent report there was a woman in a store, which shall remain nameless that was breast feeding her spawn when a customer in the store complained and the mother was asked to stop. First, I hope that was not a dude that complained and second, the dam baby has to gobble so just let him/her chow down for God's sake!

Who really cares if it’s a real boob or a plastic bottle the rug rat is chewing on they need to eat. I think these baboons need to lighten up I mean really!

Shouldn’t we grumble about the jerk-offs who roll up in their cars slap a handicap plaque in the window and jump out of the car with a gym bag in-hand?

Have you seen the picture on the handicap plaque? It’s a dam picture of a person in a wheelchair not a fat old man wearing a tang-top that would fit a five year old. You know who you are jerks!

To wrap up, shut up people! Let mom feed her kid! I think you complaining parasites need lighten up babies need food and “real men” need entertainment and watching babies dangling from mama’s fun bags is worth the ticket of admission. Sick of waiting in endless lines while trying to hide the fact that you were sent to the store to purchase your girls tampons?

You know who you are.

Stick a sock in it! Like you've never seen anything so offensive?

Give me a break! Want to see something unpleasant? Look at your own reflection and see what everybody sees. Most people would try to tell you but can’t get past the urge to hurl there b-fast bagel, fresco and corn chips at you!

You're on time out complainers!

With the recent clash of the heat wave and the subzero A/C at work, something had to give. My sinus and head were filled like the Make-A-Bear stuffed toy. With severe sinus congestion and post nasal drip taking its stand in my head, I had to reach out for some medication (personally I don't like  medicine). So I reluctantly walked into Walgreens and made an over priced purchase of Claritin-D. I heard it's one of the strongest allergy medicine on the market (over the counter), but boy didn't realize how strong and expensive it could be until today. At $10 for 5 pills, my elementary math tells me that's $2 a pill. No wonder the pharmaceutical companies make billions of dollars a day.

Bravely, I decided to try the 24hour relief version of pill (standard is 12 hours). Pseudoephedrine me up baby! For those who don't know, the chemical pseudoephedrine somehow made it into the cautious drug list by the Congress and passed a law called  Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005 ("CMEA"). Apparently it's strong enough to get people high and even alter the body to make athletes perform better. As I write this post, supposedly high on this pill, I can tell you it's not you usual off the shelf medication.

On the Claritin package, it states: "This medication is an antihistamine that treats symptoms such as itching, runny nose, watery eyes, and sneezing from "hay fever" and other allergies. It is also used to relieve itching from hives." I realize I do not have any of those symptoms. However, I solely purchased it for its sinus/nasal decongestant abilities. It clearly states it's for Nasal /Sinus congestion on the box (look below)!

A Strong Decongestant That May Be Worth The Price?

This is the first time I have tried a 24 hour release Claritin-D. This pill must be that blue (actually white) pill everyone is talking about. After swallowing the pill, within ten minutes, I saw Keanu Reeves and a pink easter bunny running across holding hands. I even felt the earth move on its axis. What's in this pill? Does the D stand for delusional?

Unfortunately, I took the pill moments before I left work. With a hour commute ahead of me, I was in for a delightful drive. Half way home, the medication started to kick in. My hands began to mildly shake for some reason with a tinkle and my nasal opened up like the Mississippi delta. But I was beginning to feel slightly airborne (if that makes sense). My head felt wide awake, but my body felt lethargic. I safely made it home (for those concerned). This is not the greatest allergy/nasal medication experience I have encountered. Either the pill is too strong for first timers and it should really be illegal to sell. That reminds me, I need a full bottle of water to counter act my drying mouth.

I can now see why this drug requires an ID validation at the pharmacy counters. I don't promote recreational drug use at all and Claritin really makes it an experience that I will probably not want to endure again. Excuse me, I need to go lie down now. But my sinus does feel much clearer. For those who need something strong and that'll last beyond 3-4 hours of relief, try Claritin-D. But I strongly advise not giving it to your children even though the box states it's okay for the age 12 and up. This is not the pill for the faint of heart, especially if you have not tried other off the shelf decongestants.

Everyone (well almost all living and breathing socialites) seems to have a blog of some sort. So I asked myself, why not me? Am I missing out on something special?

After a millisecond of consideration and reflection... I decided to start my own random blog. So here I am writing my first blog to share with the freaking world or in my case my little own world. I really don't understand the meaning of a blog and why even twitter made its way into a social pinnacle that it is. What losers really follow other people's status online? Are their lives really that mundane and lacking that they must get daily (sometimes hourly) updates about someone else lives? Maybe so.

On that thought, what is the point of my blogs, you ask? Nothing really. No point, no purpose, no meaning...just like everyone else's blog. Wikipedia defines a Blog as such  "Blogs are usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video..." in other words random crap. Thus, my blog title was appropriately named.

I, anxiously and with true low expectations, seek to find out how my blogging experience will entail. I kindly ask you (followers) to embark on my journey of random shit.

See you in an hour...Not!~ haha.