Tired of getting robbed?

A 23 year old robber miraculously managed to escape death after a taxi driver in self-defense, jabbed him in the head with a knife. The Jagged Edge entered the skull at a depth of 10 centimeters, without touching any of the brain or any major blood vessels. Is it extreme piercing or body art when man gets stabbed in the head and lives?

Call me crazy but where did the knife come from? Never mind I don’t want to know. Here’s justice served hot a fresh. Tired of getting robbed while driving home some inebriated looser back to his house after a hot night of gray goose guzzling? No problem just whip out your butcher knife and slash away!

I warms the cockles of my heart to hear these fantastic stories of pain and suffering. For all you idiots that want to commit crimes keep this story in your head (pun intended). As for me, I say good for the taxi dude. What more could you ask for?

Justice served hot and fresh and aside from the fact that losers like this, will always be committing crimes and other assorted similar brainless acts I say everybody needs to arm themselves with some sharpened steel, blunt objects or anything else that could inflict serious damage.

Bring it on!

Next time aim for the ball dumbass!

Over the weekend, a golfer's routine swing in the rough at the Shady Canyon Golf Course in Irvine, Calif., struck a rock and started a fire.

Wow, you can’t tell the difference between a rock and a golf ball? I might be a good idea to get your head examined and your eyes checked. I hope you don’t think this text is hieroglyphics.

In the realm of golf I can see in such “high pressure” situations how you could make mistakes like that! Hope there are no gophers on that green you might see a few gopher heads on the green and stuck in trees.

I think you need to down grade to nurf or nothing. When you miss the ball or hit another rock you can take your aggressions on your caddy or nearest fan (if you have any) or even still a baby lying nearby.

Look, this is what dreams are made of. While you relax and play a few rounds of golf you light a golf course on fire. Now of course this makes you look like a complete buffoon but you’ve indirectly created a few jobs. Now you go home and sleep on that while hundreds of charred animal carcasses fertilize the landscape and that great side effect of combustion billows into family’s homes suffocating us.

Someone should put your head on a tee and swing a mac truck at your melon. Much like my dad used to say “think before you speak” I say to you “look before you swing” you crack pot!

FORE!

I hate when you tailgate!!!

Driving to toil dire outlook in tote

Anger suppressed deep in my throat

A glance in my mirror and what do I see

Some dim-witted jack-ass tailgating me

I step on the gas to get out of his way

When low and behold

On my ass he did stay

I tried not to think

Or really get mad

C’uz for him in my rear

Things will really get bad

Visions of knuckle bumps

Smashed in his head

In hopes of sir tailgater soon will be dead

I swerve to the left then to the right

When all of the sudden he flashed on his brights

I flipped him the bird

With resentment and shame

A glance in the mirror

Nostrils aflame

This guy wants to die

This I do know

You might want to stay

T’ill the end of the show

I merge on the freeway

Head bout to pop

When all of the sudden

I just want to stop

I smash on the brakes

And hope for the best

Low and behold

He’d soon curse with zest

With a shriek

And a slam

I heard his tires scream

A shine in my eye

His head popped with steam

So tailgate me please

And soon you will see

I’ll smash your face good

And smile with glee

On the way to the hospital

A flying I go

Your Insurance went up

And your car needs a tow

I head to the bank

Crash check in hand

Thinking that was fun

This cost him ten grand